Look at me!
Look at me mothafucka!
Nah, you're not a mothafucka.
Look at me childfucka!
Yeah, didn't think what you did would come back to you, huh?
As the world turns so does the karma that you spew
The seeds you sew, grow when you nourish them in the ground
And the ones you take for granted, and neglect, and abuse
They wither away, they rot, and they become a part of the sun-scorched earth
As the world turns, you think the shit you did 10 years ago
Would just leave this place, up and disappear
And never return with your name on it?
You think when you made that proposition to that 12 year old
That was some good shit?
Look at me childfucka!
Her own aunt didn't treat her like she was worth
The time, the attention, the nurturing of her young innocent soul
Her own aunt left her to fend and seek alternatives
Left her to take a path of desperation that led her
To find a means to an end
At 45, you could have been her father, her mentor, her savior, her… Savior
But instead, you propositioned her and enslaved her,
All she wanted was an opportunity to go to school,
Learn the rules, get the grades, and
Emancipate herself from the mental slavery
All she wanted was…
Money to buy food, to eat, to live and learn
But you, propositioned her while your
Fiancée worked and lived the lie you sold her
She even threatened that 12 year-old and she lied for you.
Look at me, Childfucka!
Don't shed no crocodile tears,
For the years of pain and hurt,
The self-hate and the feeling of worthlessness
You caused upon that poor child never crossed your mind
When you would look at your own daughter
The years she carried that burden
Of being your chick on the side
Just to go to school.
A seed could have been planted, could have been nurtured,
Could have been cared for and loved,
But instead you took her soul
And you left her in the ground
To rot, to become the scum of your indiscretions
What do you have to say for yourself, Childfucka?
"I am sorry! I didn't think it was wrong cause
She looked mature, and…
She needed the money so I…
But she didn't seem to mind it at all."
[I kicked him in the stomach]
"I don't measure it but it's about 7 inch…"
[I pistol whipped him, blood running down his face mixed with his grown ass tears]
No Childfucka, how long did you abuse her?
"It was not long it was only for 6 years!"
[I shot him in the groin, 14 rounds left]
NOT LONG! How much? Was it worth it?
"No, it wasn't. Please don't kill me.
I paid her… I regret… "
[I punched him in the face and broke his nose]
No you don't Childfucka!
"I don't know what happened to her but I regret doing it
My daughter was molested too for the same shit
And deep in my heart I know I'd regret it."
You fuckin' piece o' shit.
You could have NEVER paid her enough
To erase the nightmares, flashbacks, fucked up memories.
She hasn't told a soul because you made her feel less than she is worth.
She carries this dark secret with her till this day.
Do you understand what you did?
Do you understand how she might feel?
She is… a woman now! Beautiful, smart, educated, talented and…
I hope you love hell, 'cause I won't regret this!
I closed my eyes and emptied the clip.
This piece is dedicated to a friend who confided in me and asked me not to judge her so I didn't.
© 2007 Hugh V. Collins. All rights reserved.
No republication of this material, in any form or medium, is permitted without express permission of the author.
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