Smokin' Blues

by HV

Deep long draws...
Like a breath taken before submersion
Into the blue healing waters under the island sun,
Held for a moment,
Like the memory of a lovers' war of words
Detailing moments of pain and pleasure intertwined

Her head rocked back as shades
are slipped over her eyes
Blocking rays of light that might reveal
the displeasure that haunts her
Her well-groomed locks released from
the bun that restricted its flow,
Covering the nape of her neck
Her right hand lowered to the side as
the smoke rises from the blunt tip
Palms resting on the cobbled stone wall
which bore her weight

She exhaled,
The long trail of floating particles
trapped in the cloud with
Shapes of O's and hearts
with arrows passing through
Instantaneous pleasure is felt from
a release of her worries
Up in smoke
Her pressure drops a notch

She inhaled,
Held it in like memories of past instances
When she had been hit
Time after time by her abusive father and exes
Leaving wasn't an option as
A concentration of love and hate
Bundled with the necessity of having
Someone provide for her was her restraint
For her preparation to stand alone was nonexistent,
Lifeless from within
Scars of pain became more visible,
They surfaced between drags

She exhaled,
Tightened jaw and clenched fists
consoled her thoughts
As she lowered her head
Shades fall without a hitch
Pounding on the stone wall
she uttered words of disgust to herself
Affirmations of "I am better than this,
I am getting out"
And confirmations of
"I will go to jail for this mother fucker!
I'm nobody's punching bag"

She examined her burnt-to-the-roach spliff,
One last draw
Held it in, cheeks filled like a puffer fish,
Furious eyes the color of blood,
She braced herself off the wall,
Lifted her eyes unto the hills,
There is a rainbow in the sky
Locks extending to the seat of her back,

She released...
The hurt and pain of her son's cries
Saturated her mind
He was a witness to her demise

She blames herself but reclaims herself
Tear drops lubricates her corneas
And bounces off her face

She is regretting, but no more
For this situation is now over
In that last draw she found redemption
And emancipation for her son
Will be taught otherwise and
He will not inflict the same fate
On anyone's daughter,
Or his children's mother

She cleansed her spirit
In that last draw she claimed the last straw
For no more will she suffer at the hand
Of that abusive mothafucka!