Living In His Shadow

Uncertainties dwell deep within
Haunts my present for my past is left unsettled
I trust my heart to tell my fears
That has kept me abound for all these years
Little things like being alone and left unfed
Makes me shake in my sleep,
I could scare the dead

Unspoken words,
Unresolved issues,
Unbelievable thoughts,
Unkind deeds…

Dare I speak the depth of my spirit?
Must I share every detailed hurt?

Tears flow freely to relieve me
Of the pain I feel
For my reality isn’t real.
A part of me died when the Lord cried.

My father…
Why have you forsaken me?

My future relies on the past I’ve lived
But, I lack the knowledge of my history
Each day I live in a foreign shadow
Of a man that did much to me.

Father…
Why have you neglected me?

You have no answers
To quench my thirst for the truth about
Who I am, where I stand, what I will be!
Thanks to my father,
You were never truly meant for me.

I sought refuge in places scorned by the homeless
I turn to vagabonds for the love you never gave
I solicit answers and stories from the tales of the dead
But I triumphed, I survived and I live.

© 2005